Anger and rage are vital to our emotional, physical, and spiritual survival. These emotions can communicate to us when something is very wrong, for example, when we or someone we love/value is being harmed, disrespected, or exploited. A book I love that cued me into this on a deeper level was Eloquent Rage by Brittney Cooper. But that's for another post.
Today I'd like to introduce Kimmortal, creator of hip hop/soul music/rap. They identify as Canadian, Queer, non-binary, Filipinx. Their new song "Sad Femme Club" has been a life saver for me. When I feel either despairing or enraged by the powers that be, Kimmortal speaks directly to me...I mean literally. The song addresses the listener and begins, "Dear Goddess...welcome...you are enough." The song feels like a conversation that generously holds space for and expresses rage sharply, eloquently, and vulnerably, yet is also enveloped by a warm embrace as they share their unapologetic sense of self and personal power, and invite you to do the same. In a personal way, Kimmortal evokes thoughts and feelings around sex, gender, queerness, intersectionality, toxic masculinity, worth, belonging, double-binds, emotionality, patriarchy, colonization, race, othering, sacred space, and being an empath.
A line that really resonates with me is the pre-chorus: "If I lose my shit right now, will I just be dismissed right now?" To me, this line captures that feeling of being on the brink from so much frustration, and having so much to say but wondering - is there room for my rage and my/the truth? Will I be heard or invalidated and shut down? The question feels like an important flipping of the idea of "cancel culture," refocusing on whose voices are really at risk and at what is really at stake. The question feels like it's not coming from a place of fear but is asking something like: What time period are we truly in as a society? Who is ready to hear your/our/my voices? Where are we in the work? At the same time, Kimmortal is not asking permission to take up space. Some lines include: "It's my art I can rage if I want to" and "there's no limits to how I choose to express."
I also laugh every time I hear the line "That's exactly what I just said, are you serious?!" Just soo true, and their delivery is priceless. Kimmortal infuses a sense of humor that feels so refreshing while remaining so on point.
I can't possibly describe this song in a way that does it justice. And regardless, it will impact everyone differently. I hope you listen and find this song/art to be a personal and meaningful gift for you too. Below is the song and lyrics.
SONG
LYRICS
Dear Goddess, give me patience
Tired of trying to explain
I've got zero tolerance
When they fuck with my sacred space
Bar the trolls, hit the corners for escape
Build the platforms, take up space
Code the scripts to infiltrate
'Cause you're never not fighting
A racist system that keeps powers in place
And that fails to acknowledge the root of your pain
Took it too personal, over-emotional
Where are you from? Are you beauty or brains?
Over the top, I'm too little or too much
Damned if I do and I'm damned if I do not
Talking class, race, gender, sex, intersections
My feelings are valid and I won't dismiss 'em
I was taught not to trust my
Own mind and decisions
My body is my body
I won't give them an apology (No)
Indoctrinated habits (Um)
Like smile, nod your head, uh-huh (Yeah, no)
I'll talk less, close my legs, what?
That's exactly what I just said, are you serious?!!
[Pre-Chorus]
If I lose my shit right now
Will I just be dismissed right now?
If I lose my shit right now
Will I just be dismissed right now?
Will I just be dismissed?
[Chorus]
Welcome to the Sad Femme Club
Baby, you are enough
(Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Welcome to the Sad Femme Club
Baby, you are enough
(Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!)
[Verse 2]
Toxic masculinity is killin' all the poetry
Hold my brothers back from free-flowing with the sea
Our tears like the holy ink to sink a patriarchy
Poppin' egos like balloons 'cause we don't exist for you, uh
Burn your eyes with Tiger Balm, don't try to tell her to be calm
Colonial repercussions, any questions, CC the boss
(Um, she's the boss) Expert of self
They pray to moon, she raps in spells
I'm attuned to what you're numb to
Check my mood ring, did I ask you? (No)
I prefer my make-believe to their bullshit
I'll work within it but at the end of shift
I build spectrums on the internet
I art attack 'cause I'm an empath
Foundations, Filipinx
No limits on how I choose to express (Woo)
With my pixels and my queerness
You can't hold me back
[Pre-Chorus] If I lose my shit right now Will I just be dismissed right now? If I lose my shit right now Will I just be dismissed right now? Will I just be dismissed? [Chorus] Welcome to the Sad Femme Club Baby, you are enough (Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!) Welcome to the Sad Femme Club Baby, you are enough (Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!) [Bridge] Boo-hoo Boo-hoo It's my life, I can cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to It's my art, I can rage if I want to Rage if I want to, cry (Roar) [Chorus] Welcome to the Sad Femme Club Baby, you are enough (Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!) Welcome to the Sad Femme Club Baby, you are enough (Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!)